We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg šš
I feel kind of like weāre in a gang and tonight is one of those āpeople are gonna know not to fuck with usā type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. Iām not really sure how I got to this point in my lifeā¦ but I like it.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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