i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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