"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm passing your future prison.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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