Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
