Duck Duck Cougar?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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