Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
