Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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