Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
