Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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