Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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