How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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