i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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