If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
