If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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