it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
