girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
