Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
