You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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