how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
