I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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