i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
