Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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