He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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