Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
