just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
