I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
