Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
