never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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