I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
