fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
