I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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