I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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