is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
