What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
