Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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