This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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