So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
