The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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