i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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