The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
