I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I forget how to act sober
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
