My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
