How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
