dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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