I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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