ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
