Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
