Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
