hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
