Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
