How'd it feel making her break her religion?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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