Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
